Pretending to be a blood elf is the next best thing to... actually being a blood elf.

Everyone knows that Blood Elves are the “sexy” race. Which race was picked to most closely resemble Britney Spears? That’s right. A Blood Elf female. Even Blizzard’s Faction Change advertising carries the slogan “Because I would rather be a Blood Elf”. What more proof do you need?

Meet my favourite dysfunctional couple in World of Warcraft. He’s a robe-wearing pirate. She’s… got a crappy plane. An unusual match perhaps. But “Silvermoon” Harry wears Blood Elf clothing and collects all kinds of Blood Elf artifacts. And he makes his girlfriend wear a Blood Elf mask. Even though they’re both perfectly normal looking humans. Grezzix Spindlesnap, your “liason” between the the Kalu’ak and the pirates describes Harry like so:

He’s a freak… crazy for blood elves.

Alanya tries to apologise for looking like she forgot that the All Hallows costume party was last week:

This is the only way Harry will talk to me! I have to keep this stupid mask on all the time…

You meet Harry and Alanya when you’re sent to sort things out at Scallywag Point in Howling Fjord. You’ll beat up residents for money. You’ll recover stolen treasure. And you’ll even need to kidnap a frog (although, to this day, I’m not quite sure why). Every single resident in this pirate town is slightly insane. Or drunk. Maybe both.

I tend not to enjoy leveling all that much. I like add-ons that speed up the process significantly, like QuestHelper. I rarely read quest text. I just hit that accept button. Give me a 1 line objective and show me where to go and I’ll already be halfway there. 20 Starving Shoveltusks need to be slaughtered? Done.

I was frantic to reach 80 and put questing behind me. So it takes something out of the ordinary to catch my attention. But when I first spoke to “Silvermoon” Harry I found myself reading every single word of every single quest in that quest chain. The story was strange and wonderful and the characters are definitely a little different.

Frankly, I think Alanya should dump Harry for “Handsome” Terry. Or she should explain to Harry that it’s just not cool to be wearing level 1 armor when you reach Northrend.

Whatever you do on your path (or race) to level 80, don’t skip the Scalawag quests.

By the way, did anyone else notice if other players treated them differently when they were wearing a Blood Elf Mask during All Hallows?

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PS. Believe it or not this post was inspired by a Shared Topic: Relationships within Azeroth. You can find more serious discussion on this topic here and here.
PPS. Sof, this article is for you, since we’ve both had a crappy week and I think it’s time for some fun.