HoTs and DoTs: A Restoration Druid and Shadow Priest

That’s a 50 DKP Minus!

25 man raid in Icecrown Citadel (Sindragosa)

25 Raider Types: I'm Helpful, The Stratmonger, Teehee and the list goes on...

A guild member posted a link to an article on MMO Champion: 25 People in Your Raid. Perhaps you’ve read it? It got me thinking. Am I just like one of these raiding personality types? Do my guildies think of me as a Teehee? Ms Prepared?

It didn’t take long for me to spot which type I know I am, but I also think I do a pretty good job at hiding (or dulling) the sharp edges of my personality while raiding. Perhaps the people I raid with have been fooled into thinking that I’m a kind, patient and forgiving sort.

I’m Helpful

Most likely a Ret Paladin or a Hunter, I’m Helpful will be the person who calls out everything needing to be called out, whether it is wandering plague on Arthas, Snobolds on a character, the fact Steelbreaker just died, or that someone is standing in a fire. This person is probably immensely helpful since even though everyone has DBM installed, no one is actually paying any attention to it.

I’m not I’m Helpful. I don’t have the endless patience and enthusiasm required to remain upbeat for a 3 hour stint. And why should I call out when we’re about to enter Phase 2? If my mods can tell me that, you can watch your own. I do genuinely like having a Helpful person in our raids though. The moment you finally kill <insert crazy difficult boss>, the boss that you’ve wiped on for months, you’ll hear Helpful declaring proudly on vent “See, I knew we could do it!”. I love that.


No matter what happens in the raid, McTalksaLot has a comment for it, a comment that is neither witty nor makes people laugh, but simply a meandering, petty, spiteful or moronic comment. Does good damage or healing, but has no idea when to stop queuing the microphone to talk, and so simply keeps rambling even when important things are trying to be done or said.

I’m not McTalksALot. At least not in game and certainly not in 25 mans! Chit chat is annoying and 99% of the time it’s totally pointless and meaningless.


Most likely a girl in the 18-24 range, Teehee injects random cutesy comments into Vent in the middle of important things or strategy discussions. “Like, I remember this time where we were in MC right, and they pulled all the corehounds at once hehehehe!!”

I hope nobody would say I was a Teehee – the description reminds me of the start of all those bad band camp stories in American Pie “This one time at band camp…” and you know the story is going to be bad. The few times that I’ve tried to entertain my guildies with a personal WoW anecodote over Vent the punch line has really fallen flat. Silence. I suck at telling stories, apparently.

The Hybrid

Hybrid is the poor fellow you ask to do 2 or 3 different roles in the same instance. Either has a druid, paladin or shaman, or has multiple characters that are geared for the content, Hybrid is usually a very good player that doesn’t really remember what character they play any more. Doesn’t mind doing either role, just gets confused sometimes while trying to lightning bolt with Holy light, or wondering why they can’t demonic circle on their mage.

I’m certainly not the jack of all trades Hybrid. I suck at playing my alts, and I suck at healing.

The Stratmonger

He’s read every bosskiller strategy, watched every tankspot video, and has every movie on Warcraftmovies memorized, recorded, and on an external hard drive ready for immediate use. Stratmonger is prepared to take over. “Well, I remember in this one video, where they moved Putricide over near the red Slime and had the abomination on it..” He will inject a thread of doubt into your strategy even if you wiped because 4 dps blew up in a goo.

I’m not a Stratmonger either. In fact I much prefer to just go in “blind” and experience the encounter for the first time without any prior knowledge. Strategy guides bombard you with lengthy descriptions of every single goddamn ability. Even the ones that are only really relevant for the tank, healers and melee DPS. Strategy videos look too easy – it’s nearly impossible to understand what you’re watching.

I also think it’s just more fun to work things out for yourself.

I’m secretly a Patton.

Will continually be yelling in /rw to “WAKE THE FUCK UP” or “C’mon guys, it’s been six minutes since we said to take a 5 minute break”, Patton will be in charge of keeping everyone awake and interested.

A totally thankless job, since people will meander back to their computers at their own speed anyways and roll call is meaningless anyways, Patton will nonetheless walk down the line, /poking people and trying to keep them from going away to go to the washroom. Really have to pee? Your dog wants out? Forget it.

Patton will come to your house and duct tape you to your computer chair so you don’t do any of that meaningless crap. Now drink another flask, and lets do another hour of Anub attempts, maggot.

I’m the first person to roll my eyes when someone fails at:

I always think the minus DKP penalty enforced by officers is too lenient. It should be -1000 DKP, not -100 DKP.

I think people should be punished if they can’t manage to maintain a 1 hour Flask buff for 3 hours straight. Especially considering that about 3 people will say “check flasks” before each attempt.

I think people talk too much on Vent. I think they type too much in Raid chat.

I think people who decide, after everyone is buffed and ready-checked, that they “need a drink, brb” should be /slapped. Time wasters.

I think most people are lazy. “Let’s go do VOA and try Sindragosa another night!” We’re not going to miraculously 1 shot Sindragosa anyway, so why not learn some of the fight now. VOA can be pugged. Sindragosa can not. This kind of thinking is why we never got Heroic Anub’arak. It was too hard. Too much wiping. People got lazy.

Fortunately for me, in pretty much every single guild I’ve been in there has already been another, more vocal, more impatient, more exacting and more demanding Patton than I. They call people out for failing before you’ve had a chance to release after a wipe. They call them lazy, the cry out for -DKP.

Yep, they come across like a total bastard. Which means I get to keep my – mostly untarnished – reputation of being a nice person. (Love you, Drag!)

If I could tape those people (who conveniently stopped showing up to H Anub nights) into their chairs for 3 hours of uninterrupted wiping, would I? Damn right I would.

See most people listen to that Onyxia -50 DKP Minus sound recording and think “that Asian guy is such a loser!”. Not me. I listen to it and think:

Crushem gets -50 DKP? Is that all? -500 already!


ps. Oh yes, I know I totally wrecked my own “nice” reputation by writing this. Oh well, it’s a relief to just put it out there.

pps. I was actually quite disturbed by this image of myself. I’m not like this in nearly any other setting – not socially, not even when I do heroics or PuGs. This is my work mode that comes out when I’m raiding.

9 Responses to “That’s a 50 DKP Minus!”

  1. LathNo Gravatar says

    I’m still laughing at the running in and out list LOL.

    I would guess that most people would see me on the list as “The Healing Queen”… but I don’t see myself like that at all!
    .-= Lath’s last blog: Shared Topic: Eavesdropping on WoW Conversations =-.

  2. WindsoarNo Gravatar says

    I see nesting!

    Anyway, I concur, I’m a Patton. The only thing that saves me is a long-suffering spouse who gets to listen to me bitch my way through the night at the various stupidity of other people without telling me to shut up or just yell at THEM already would you?

    Thank God for push to talk. If I had an open mic, my entire reputation would be ruined.
    .-= Windsoar’s last blog: Look What You’ve Done… I Mean Thanks! =-.

  3. TrysNo Gravatar says

    I relate to the last part a lot. And I am not like that in any other setting either. Just in our raids. Not even in my 10 man do I do that. I’m not vocal about it either except to a select few but others are.
    My boyfriend is “I’m Helpful” even though he’s probably rolling his eyes more than I am but he has that let’s just roll with it attitude that I can’t seem to get.
    .-= Trys’s last blog: …Why does she have a mob running after her? =-.

  4. JenNo Gravatar says

    I was reading this with a friend and we both just about snorted tea out our noses when we got to Trade Troll. I AM a druid healer and I HAVE hotted and afked… I like to join/bitch at the /1 banter. I’m a bit ADD with everything, so raiding’s no different…

    I’ve raided with a Patton in a previous guild and it was NOT fun. Actually, he’s the reason I left the guild. Getting yelled at in a game is not my idea of a nice night in WoW, so he can tell other “fucking idiots” to “stay the fuck out of the fucking fire” now.
    .-= Jen’s last blog: The SAN campaign for gnome rights – part 1 =-.

    • CassandriNo Gravatar says

      I know us Pattons can be a bit much, but we really don’t mean anything personal while we’re screaming “get out of the fire!!!!”. And when we stuff up, which we do, nobody will be as harsh on us as we are on ourselves.

  5. AneaNo Gravatar says

    I think I’m a lot like you, actually. When I was in my raiding guilds, there was always someone who was more outspoken than me, but I was still thinking the Patton things too – and Lus certainly had to hear about it since he was sitting next to me, haha.
    .-= Anea’s last blog: In which I obey The Muse =-.

    • CassandriNo Gravatar says

      I used to raid sitting right next to Lathere and I was always calm – mostly because I hate it when she starts to stress out – that’s catching! I guess I can be calm and scathing all at the same time.

  6. senzanNo Gravatar says

    “See most people listen to that Onyxia -50 DKP Minus sound recording and think “that Asian guy is such a loser!”.”

    He’s not Asian, he’s Romanian. Names Dives, plays on Boulderdfist EU. Was / is the GM for Wipe Club.

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