HoTs and DoTs: A Restoration Druid and Shadow Priest

OMG You Got Your Ass Kicked by a Girl!

If my druid's eyes could glow red, they would be today

If my druid's eyes could glow red, they would be red right now

Most of the time it doesn’t really cross my mind that I’m a girl gamer. I’m just another person in my guild and in my raid. I think about our progression and I worry about standing in the fire just like any other raider. No different than anyone else, right?

I got to work this morning and (procrastinating doing actual work) went and checked out our guild website. In the last 24 hours there have been some fairly active application threads and I wanted to see how some of them were panning out.  I was thoroughly disgusted when I read some sexist comments on a new, public, applicant thread made by one of our newer raiders who only just got through his trial period. This comment makes me so mad I’m going to copy paste the text right over into this post… because frankly it speaks for itself.

ex Gravity player, not sure how far he got to… but from what i remember, the officers were not 100% satisfied. Not sure which one of you was playing, but dont think u played a vital role as a warlock in the guild. When eliria and patross.. u fall behind miles away. although patorss is very exp and geared lock.. eliria is a chick…and does better than you  O.O beside the point…. i would always see you in the top 10 or top 15. so yea. dont think you can match vitare locks to be honest… but yea
 laterz

Oh my god I wish this guy would go die in a fire or something.

Does this represent the mindset of the other raiders in Vitare? I don’t think so! If I had gotten a response like that when I applied I probably would have withdrawn my application. As we are sorely in need of good ranged DPS at the moment, can we really afford to convey the wrong message on the current application threads? Absolutely not.

Forum Applications – What to Do and What NOT to Do

I am absolutely in support of open forum applications. Officers generally only play 1 or 2 classes each, so it just makes sense to have applications out in the open for other guild members with more knowledge of the applicant’s class to review, comment and ask questions.

What to do

  • Check out their raiding achievements
  • Check out their gear/gems/enchants
  • Check out their reputation – do they have Sons of Hodir rep?
  • Do they have 2 professions @ 450?
  • Do they appear to understand their class and spec?
  • Have they put thought into their online app?
  • Can they spell/write in proper sentences/refrain from leet speak?
  • Check out other similarly progressed guilds recruitment forums to see where else they are applying
  • Check out what other guilds they have been in and length of time – no one wants a guild hopper

What NOT to do

  • Don’t make unsubstantiated comments that they are a shit player
  • Don’t tell them they play worse than a girl
  • Don’t whisper their old GM and then make that conversation public
  • Don’t pick apart a players gear/gem choices if you know fuck all about that class
  • Don’t start a completely off topic argument with fellow guildies

Ok, I’ll admit I absolutely failed that last one.

Firing back at him in a rage over a public forum is perhaps not very classy. But in my defence this guy has been an idiot on mulitple occassions now and I wanted to make it clear that we were not all anti-girl-gamers.

This is what I wrote back in reply. I wish I had started a new, private, thread, but hindsight is 20/20:

seriously you manage to (continuously) push all my buttons wrong…. wtf does it matter if a chick is playing? You know that the majority of our healing team is female yeah? Are you just asking to die over and over again?

I hope karma gives you female managers your entire life and your future wife keeps you on a ball and chain.

FFS it makes me want to disable my microphone forever and just pretend to be a guy – what a sad world we live in.

Later on in the afternoon I was feeling much calmer. Then I went back to the forums. It took about 2 seconds for me to see red. This was my reply:

lol?

i know most of our healers are female. They are great and i am happy to be part of the team.
what my point was…guys are usually better.. so dont QQ or /cry over it. Guys are better at games.. ITS A FACT.dont deny it. i am not being sexist or anything, i was just compering.

i run my own business so no female mangers for me..at least like urself. cuz you either got something against me or your attitude isnt right. obviously you have lots of soft spots.. or i am just good at getting them.

on the other hand. i love females. best thing to walk the earth. i was just pointing it in a games perspective.

dont hate.. <3 instead

Reading this reply still makes me angry. I don’t want to play with this guild member anymore. Where possible I’m not going to attend any 10 mans that have him in it. During 25 mans, for the sake of the overall raid, I’ll throw him a Swiftmend to stop him dying but that is it.

And if he complains I’ll just tell him I’m a girl and one of our male healers will have to heal him, because, well he’s obviously a better gamer than I.

And every time Cass beats him on the DPS metres now I’m going to be thinking “OMG he just got beat by a girl!” Now whether or not I should point that our to the entire raid, well I haven’t decided.

21 Responses to “OMG You Got Your Ass Kicked by a Girl!”

  1. ChewyNo Gravatar says

    In fact they can grow red. Just issue the slash command:

    /makeEyesGlowReadWhileMakingStrangledAngryNoises

    Not a very well known command I admit.

    The nice thing about idiots is that you can find them pretty much anywhere. I’d love the command

    /ignore allIdiots

    But for some reason bliz haven’t implemented that one yet. Maybe next patch.

  2. ultraNo Gravatar says

    It made me angry reading what he posted aswell lath =[ I would suggest /ignoring him in game and just not pay any attention to him.

    Most of the females i’ve played with over the last 4 years have been just as good as any male player… seriously don’t know what hes basing his logic on.

  3. PapaNastyNo Gravatar says

    just take it as a challenge not an insult lath :)

    when I first start tanking as a Paladin (near the start of bc) I would sometimes be kicked from pug heroic groups by people I didn’t know because

    “Paladins can’t tank, they’re only useful for gimmic fights like tidewalker, and holy’s more useful for that anyway”

    Even my guildmaster, when I was the 2ic officer, refused to loot me the mageblade from grulls because “Paladins aren’t viable as endgame tanks”, instead giving it to a mage who had just joined the guild 2 days earlier.

    I used comments like that as fuel to drive me on, promising myself that I would prove them wrong, I would show them all!!

    So I did, and still am :)

    I often use stuff like that to fuel me to greater heights though, like there was a comment in officer chat one night, when the other 10man group were short and mine wasn’t running, I offered to come on my hunter and recieved the comment “I don’t want to carry scrub alts”. I ended up going with them, and topped just about every dmg meter that night, with a “Damn, thanks guys for carrying me thru ToC, even though I’m just a scrub alt” comment after every fight (I think it was ToC10)

    I’m probably starting to go on a bit now, but just don’t get mad or sad, get even!!

  4. Haha! You surely showed them who’s the boss!

  5. LathereNo Gravatar says

    @ultra & papa – cheers guys :) i know most guys don’t think like that, it just amazes me I guess when I do still find them out there! Lets just all cheer Cass on and have a quiet laugh when she beats the pants off him.

  6. CassandriNo Gravatar says

    I, for one, am hoping that his pants stay on.
    .-= Cassandri’s last blog … OMG You Got Your Ass Kicked by a Girl! =-.

  7. TamNo Gravatar says

    What the fuck? He must be 12 (the open business *must* be a lie), he is 12 and scared of girls. Or else he’s 30 and scared of girls which is worse.

    I would seriously not want to raid with that guy, let alone talk to him. I hope you can rally the whole healing team to /ignore him. Hell, the whole guild.

    Also what’s with the “I love women (but I believe they suck)” bullshit.

    Gah! Gah!
    .-= Tam’s last blog … miscellaneous post is miscellaneous =-.

  8. As an officer, I would have kicked anyone who made those comments to a fellow guild member. If you can’t treat your coworkers with respect, I don’t care how good you are at your job; those comments are unacceptable.

    If your officers see it differently, I would suggest taking the healing core and finding a new guild. Seriously. You’re not going to change this guy’s mind by outplaying him.
    .-= Cynwise of Stormwind’s last blog … BG Hero =-.

  9. TufvaNo Gravatar says

    I cannot believe that someone would say such a thing in the first place and his response to your response just blew me out of the water!! That is just unacceptable!

    If someone said something like that on our guild forums, they would get a serious talking to (and maybe a g-kick if needed).

    I feel for you having to deal with someone like that!!

    (oops, just spotted I’ve been very liberal with the !’s, sorry – I got quite agitated by the topic! (just for good measure ;-) ))

  10. LethayaNo Gravatar says

    first of all there are girls who are weak players, just as there are boys who just cannot play.
    the thing is, that girls are still in a minority… i guess thats why we are standing in a kind of spotlight. they are just waiting to see us fail…
    i went through thousands of similar situations…
    for example: i`m often organazing different raids, and i got the feeling, that as long as i`m just writing, they are doing what i say, but when i open my mouth in ts2 ore vent, they are starting arguing with me about anything… this is rly pissing me off!

    the only thing we can do is just go on kicking their ass and proof that there are no difference between boys and girls, its a matter of the player not of the sex.

    sry for my english :P i`m german

  11. ErinysNo Gravatar says

    People like that make my blood boil. In games like WoW, I really fail to see why men are automatically better than women. Physical size/strength plays zero factor in our ability to play and women often have better visual awareness. The game rewards intelligent play over brute force. Its rather sad that some men seem to think that just because their character runs around wielding a sword, you need the physical strength associated with that to be any good.
    Given the player demographics, I would bet that there are far more bad male players running around failing at the game, than there are women. I just wonder where exactly these statistics proving without a shadow of a doubt that women suck at games lurk. These little boys wave them around all the time without making any reference to their sources. I wonder why……
    .-= Erinys’s last blog … Salty Cedric, Azeroth’s worse sailor =-.

  12. ArkaneenaNo Gravatar says

    Ok granted my last blog post was totally sexist, (see posts before it.) Not denying that, but there girls that heal me under the table, and girls who outtank me. One in particular, but she likes me and we work well together.
    I for one prefer to work with women. I always have, and I always will. The immense decrease in the testosterone levels tend to mean they have fewer rage problems. When things get stressful, they are less likely to smack you in the face. Notice I say less likely. My brothers go from 0-stupid in .3 seconds.
    Women can think with both sides of their brain at the same time much better than a man. They think about more things at the same time, and are not screaming at everyone about it. Women can be calm when everything goes to crap and analyze how to recover from a wipefest faster. Yeah Women raid leaders and gamers FTW. My favorite raiding pug is led by 2 of the most awesome women.
    I would give this guy once chance, and this was it. If he ever said anything so stupid again, in group forum or guildchat, I would /gkick him faster than a ret pally owns a resto shaman on a BG. And to add injury to insult, I would use Gridstatus ignored on him. You have no idea how liberating that is occasionally. When I put someone on ignore as a healer they notice. To date I have 4 people on my ignore list, so it doesn’t happen often, but when it does… Ooo show someone else where the bad boss touched you. I do not care anymore.
    You get one free Dudeash comment, that was it. Congratulations now you can learn to be a grownup, or find some teenagers who are impressed with you and join their guild.
    I think if he had said this in his blog, that would be okay. Everyone would just know to watch out for him because you might catch stupid. Isn’t that what blogs are for? To show off your stupid occasionally, Lord knows my last one was.
    To quote a favorite judge of mine, “You have one foot on a banana peel, and the other on {GridStatusIgnore}. Choose your next words wisely.” Judge Koberlin 3rd Circuit Florida
    .-= Arkaneena’s last blog … Little Girls Turn into Bigger Girls =-.

  13. SemNo Gravatar says

    oh wow that guy makes me angry, I don’t know if I’d be able to control my temper if that showed up on my guild forums. TBH, the girls that are terrible stick out more than the guys that are terrible because there are fewer of us. I’m nearly always topping healing meters in my guild (meters are srs bsns I know) and the other female healer in our guild is consistently on the bottom, borderline getting outhealed by a ret pally, but somehow it’s the girls asking “what killed me?” as there corpse is surrounded by flames that people remember and not all the guys whose asses I kick daily and nightly

  14. UncySpamNo Gravatar says

    Our AGM is female, as is our best priest. on the flip side one of our failbots is a chick, so it evens out.

    You should refer that guildy to join the “premier ally guild” on thaurissan. and by “premier ally guild” I mean giant bunch of wankers. He would fit in well :D

    He would already know how they respond to application threads. Checkout the forums on http://www.notsteamboat.com. They take petty to a whole new level :D

    From my old application to them… the toon I used to apply was not my main at the time, and it was a bit silly and a bit of a test from me to see what they made of a fairly fresh 80 looking for join.
    The toon’s level of gearing seemed to have nothing to do with why I would not get an invite to the guild it seems…

    “Also, for those who read this, if your NSB website name differs from your applying toon’s name, it shows you don’t respect order, which likely means we don’t want you. And if it’s something as terrible as UncySpam (wtf is that anyway), it tells us pretty much all we need to know.”
    .-= UncySpam’s last blog … Locked On: OS25 + 0 =-.

  15. RahimaNo Gravatar says

    How absolutely infuriating! His first comments were horrible but his reply to you was absolutely (I’ll say it again) infuriating! I have personally not run into an attitude like that (at least that was openly expressed to me) though I’ve seen that many others have and it just blows my mind. How can we have people still thinking like that?

    I don’t blame you one bit for not wanting to group with or heal him. Swiftmend if absolutely necessary, but I would certainly not be above telling him to have a male healer heal him. :|
    .-= Rahima’s last blog … Brewmaster Rahima =-.

  16. DirzNo Gravatar says

    I actually g kick for assholes like that, I have gimped raid progression over it- but if you can’t raid with people who you like, why raid at all? Sure you may get to see new content because these dicks help to round out your raids- but is it worth it?

  17. drugNo Gravatar says

    OK, I’m going to walk on a very veery thin line and make some general comments about political correctness and sexism.

    First of all, I’m not defending sexism. But I’m not really defending political correctness either. I believe it is most important to treat other human beings like you would yourself like to be treated. But I also believe, with too much PC we will slip into a boring, very uniform world.

    First of all, sexism is a very strange phenomenon:

    It’s very one sided. Sexist comments against women will always lead to a cry of outrage, sexism against men is very present, but won’t raise any eyebrows.

    Sexism has many roots, but most of the time, it is just here because men and women are different. Let’s take for example racism, racism has always ugly roots: prejudices, fear (in times of high economical pressure) and of course the worst: historical roots where racism was a tool for profit, expanding a country and exploiting people. Sexism of course also has bad roots, e.g. monopolizing of well paid jobs for male workers. But a lot of sexism just comes out of daily life. I have a girlfriend, and I sure might some of her bad attributes correlate with her gender. I’m sure many of us do that, be it conscious or unconscious. This is is also a reason, why racism will always lead to a negative response from all mental sane persons, but sexist comments will from time to time lead to a mixed response, some people angry, some will chuckle.

    People care about sexism in extremely different degrees. Lets take my girlfriend for example. She’s really the very opposite of political correct. When we named our bank guilds, she picked “sapped girls cant say no” the first time, then “me so hordey” after the first guild got banned. But is she sexist or tolerating sexism? I’m pretty sure she’d raise her voice against any form of ugly sexism, but she also likes to annoy people, including political correct females. On the other hand, there are tons of organizations who fight against sexism in an close to bizarre way. Universities are still packed with organizations, fighting for a non sexist university, while in fact the biggest part in the university I’m in is in female hands, most students are female and most female students do significantly better than their male fellow students. On my university for example, our e-mails ended on @student.unibe. ch. “Student” could be the English word for student but also the german word for male student, while “Studentin” would be the female student. A handful of people thought this sexist, so the e-mail was changed to @students.unibe.ch, something that cost a lot of money and all in all was a huge annoyance for every student with an e-mail account.

    My comment is not really related to the post to be honest. It’s just a call for a differentiated view on sexism and political correctness, which I very often miss.
    .-= drug’s last blog … Quo Vadis Blizzard? =-.

    • CassandriNo Gravatar says

      So your girlfriend plays WoW, too then. Ok, how would she feel if she applied to a guild and they said, NO, you can’t join because girls aren’t as good players as guys. Simple fact. Sorry. We’d prefer to take the next guy who comes along.

      Sexism in this form isn’t about political correctness.

  18. No heals for you sunshine!
    .-= Gnomeaggedon’s last blog … Farewell Outland, I ground you well =-.

  19. RayelleNo Gravatar says

    Months behind I know, I randomly found your blog while looking up “Bloodsurge, Kel’Thuzad’s Blade of Agony” on Google O_o. I am Rayelle Warlock on Barthilas, the only girl in Schism. I am formerly from Korgath server, where there were a lot of top tier guilds like Death and Taxes, Drama etc. I had the reputation for being female and above average player I guess, but after having a few issues with guilds I was in an applying to others, and being rejected multiple times just due to gender, made me a little salty, and slightly sexist as well. Another guild I was in I outperformed everyone but I couldn’t take a joke and I was told daily that I’m worthless simply because I’m female.

    Some of these guilds genuinely believed that penis = superior gaming skill, while other long-standing guilds simply had female drama in the past that they were over, one of which had a female officer who was a very good player that everyone respected! I eventually got into that guild as they were desperate for a good player of my class but that female officer wouldn’t really speak to me, I wasn’t sure what her problem was =[.

    Then that guild died, I joined Drama, then got a job and had to raid Oceanic times and so my Australian friend who joined Schism convinced me to join also (this is late Sunwell at this point). For the first month I was pretty much silent and people thought I was a strange dude, then when I finally "came out of the closet" I was amazed and relieved that nobody cared what gender I was, I think it may be the cultural difference between servers, I found US server to be extremely different in nature to this Oceanic server (I could be wrong, it may just vary from server to server).

    Anyways I'm ranting, I was surprised to find a blog from people from Barthilas,
    /wave See you ingame maybe =]

    - Rayelle

  20. CassandriNo Gravatar says

    @Rayelle Hey! I know you :) See you around in Dalaran all the time! Say hi to Jugg/Wrekk for me :)

    You’d be surprised at how many Barthilas bloggers there are – we’re up to 3 that I know of: Unreal Realities, me & Lath, and one of our guildies just started her own blog, too:

    http://unrealrealities.com/
    http://projectui.wordpress.com/

    This incident was really the first time I’d come across blatant sexism in a guild, I’d always been in guilds with a strong female Officer or GM. But once your eyes are opened, you see the sexist crap everywhere.

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